Thursday, June 19, 2014

Another country heard from..

When I was young, that's what my mom would say when one of us piped in on a family discussion. So, here I am, piping in after what seems like a very long time.

I was very open about my struggle with breast cancer. I didn't mind sharing all the ins and outs, and ups and downs of getting diagnosed, having a mastectomy, and going through chemotherapy. It felt good for me to be sharing it somehow.

I finished my last round of chemo on February 21, and was declared in remission. I'll never be cured as the cancer got into my lymph nodes, so apparently there's always a chance it will come back. I felt great for a week, started to get back to feeling good again. And then, everything started to go downhill.

Although I was open about my breast cancer, I feel less inclined to be open about the roller coaster ride I've been on since the middle of March. Perhaps it's that I feel protective of myself. I'm convinced that what touched the whole nightmare off was the aftermath of chemo, starting with one of the more troublesome side effects and going forward into trying to recover from massive surgery a mere four weeks after chemo finished. My body just gave out and said, "no more, I can't do anything more now except make you worse." It was a classic case of what can go wrong will go wrong.

I'm not really better yet. I still have a few lingering nasties to deal with. I have little to no energy, but I am working with a physical therapist 3 times a week, and through that I'm able to do small things like go grocery shopping (did that this week for the first time since March). Of course, I have no stamina for writing, so again that will have to wait.

I have realized that I've let a few things lag that I'd intended to keep up with. First of all the "Wow" I was posting on Facebook. I was almost done with The King's Heart, and I suppose I can muster up the energy to finish that off. The other thing was the character journal entries for Brad and Scott. I finished Scott's, but still have to tackle Brad. Not sure if or when I'll get to that.